Sunshine

Today is a cold chilly day. The sign board across the street says its 13 degrees. A day when its easy to be kind of miserable and feel sorry for yourself. I was sitting at my desk staring out the window imagining a different life, where Josh has a fantastic job, I work part time at a job I actually love, spend most of my time with my sweet precious boy, and we pay all the bills on time. I dream of a world where we don't have to cram as much life as possible into those oh so short evenings. Then I stop, as I see the faces of those around me, faces lined with worry, faces sitting outside in the cold with nowhere to go, faces of those losing their homes to foreclosure, faces with no jobs. And I sadly realize that I am being selfish. I have a beautiful sweet baby, a man who loves me (with a job!), a house that fits all our needs, plenty to eat, the heater running at full speed, everything Mason could possibly need and much more really, and the list goes on. Sure life is wasn't what I pictured it would be when Josh got done with school, but in all reality we are so massively blessed. I can either sit here imagining that different life, or I can live the life God has graciously given me. The world outside no longer seems so miserable, and the sun peeks into my window. Just another reminder of the gifts I have every day.

Tis' the Season

Thanksgiving, Black Friday, getting the Christmas tree. These three things mark the official start of my Christmas season, although I have been sneaking Christmas music for the last month. Most of the people I know dread Black Friday and adamantly refuse to take part in the mayhem. I am one of the crazy in the throngs, and I hope I always will be. I know its pretty silly, I mean do you really need to get up and go shopping at 4:45 to save a buck? But its more then a sale for me, it marks the beginning of a season where there is hope and peace. As insane as a few people are, I find for the most part it marks a time when others show their love and caring. I know Christmas is materialized big time, but its also a season of outward giving, and for me just having that season for a few weeks is music on the heart of my soul. I love everything about it, but mostly I think its the excitement and unity most people show throughout this season. It truly is the one time each year that we all celebrate under fairly common ground, and that sparks this incredible atmosphere for me. I love it, even and maybe especially all the crowds, because we are all there running around loving and caring for other people. You have to peer past the outward shell, but love is there underneath it all, twinkling like a beckoning star. Maybe in this crazy world it is the one time when it is "okay" to outwardly show our emotions in a society were we keep our feelings under lock and key. As the years go by, this magic has disappeared a bit for me, and I realized that I can't complacently sit by and chalk this up to maturity and realism. I hope that I can grab hold of these moments and never let go. So here I am grabbing the joy that is flowing around us, and letting it show. Be joyful, show love and Merry Christmas.